Monday, March 15, 2010

Power in Numbers

Hello BlogSpot. My bad I channelled my inner Tiger and went into e-hiding for a minute. I would attribute it to self-reflection and pondering, but really it was just laziness. I wish I could churn these blogs out with the consistency of Lil Wayne's mixtapes, but I prefer to have quality posts. I can't dilute the product. Anyway while at work, I stare at numbers and think about girls pretty much all day. And when I'm not at work, I think about numbers and girls too. Suffice to say, I like numbers, and here is how I like them applied to women:

3 - most number of pierced spots, word to paul. left ear, right ear, belly button or tongue [taking it back to circa 2000]. any other spots I'd have to question.

4 - minimum number of Sacraments you should have received, which would be Baptism, Confirmation, Reconciliation and Communion, which is basically how I would quantify a Catholic girl

5 - ideal finger size, because chunky fingers means chunky toes, and I want your feet to look cute in sandals.

6 - most number of siblings you should have, since I'm already dominating that category and I don't want to be going to a kid's party every weekend, provided they have them and such.

7 - ideal shoe size, because with anything smaller I think of bound feet from my Asian-American studies courses, and only the guy should have a double-digit shoe size

9 - most number of partners she should have, as I would be number 10 and I wouldn't want them to start counting on their well-shaped toes. I'd rather be the index finger than the big left toe ya heard.

20 - most number of miles you should live away from me, one way. Anything more I would have to categorize gas as a relationship expense.

25 - the youngest age I'd probably go for, as this number would remain constant even as I get older mwhahaaha

32 - number of teeth she should have. her smile should look like this "=D" and not like this "=@", where @ denotes a missing tooth.

34 - ideal bust and/or hips size

50 - most number of shoes you should have, since if we eventually co-habitate, then I want to ensure there's space for my kicks. and you definitely can't have more than me.

69 - yes

72 - if you see this number, the first thing you should think of is the Rule of 72, which essentially tells how long an investment would take to double.

115 - ideal weight in pounds, give or take 5-10 ounces. Nothing personal, but I just like you porportional to me.

700 - minimum FICO score. really, it's not that difficult to maintain good credit. just pay your bills on time and pay above the minimum. you could be thousands of dollars in debt but still maintain a decent score. its really not that hard

800 - maximum amount of Facebook friends you should have. I don't want you to be e-sloring yourself out.

1200 - mimimum SAT score. as a HS freshman I scored this on a preliminary one, so this isn't asking for too much. and if you're with me I want you to connect with me on a mental level, so I want to make sure your aptitude is up to par. oh yeah this only applies to the old school scoring system - would need to readjust appropriately for the current version.

2005 - latest year of College Graduation, because 1. see above, 2. that's within 4 years of me, which sounds about right

See I'm not asking for too much, just a couple requirements here and there. Oh yeah this post is dedicated to Flappy Lives, who thinks I'm too picky. Please.