Wednesday, January 27, 2010

That Moded Feeling

Sucks huh? I think I get one of these moments pretty often. Anyway if you've had any of the following, then you once felt moded:

- open up your mailbox, only to find it empty.
- wash all your dishes and wipe everything down, only to see that you missed up a couple.
- dropping a deuce and commence wiping, only to feel something brewing.
- folding your laundry, only to discover your missing a sock.
- setting your alarm earlier than usual, only to wake up later than usual.
- talking to and cheesing at a girl, only to discover you had something in your grill.
- wearing your nice kicks to the club/bar, only to get them jacked up.
- calling your credit card company to get your late fee reversed, only to find out they don't do courtesy reversals anymore [grrrr!].
- bringing your return back to the store, only to not have your receipt.
- farting in an empty elevator, only to have a group of people there when it opens.
- making a grocery list, only to forget something off the list.
- spending mad time on a spreadsheet, only to have Excel crash.
- DVRing a show, only to have it cut off early. Week after week after week.
- sprinting for a train or bus, only to miss it and be out of breath. And hae your backpack open and the contents spill [that was back in HS though lol].

Okay those were the first to come to mind, but I'm sure there's countless more.  The lesson here kids is don't take yourself too seriously.  We might have all these mini-FMLs, but they're not really FMLs. *hops off soapbox!*

You Got to Read Between the Lines

If you're successful at reading between the lines, then you have an exponentially better chance to read between the sheets.  I know dudes over-analyze any type of communication with a female, and I'm no exception. it's hard enough to read when the words are there, but what do they really mean? Here is a brief sypnosis of what a girl's response to your text really means:

generic text sent by generic guy: "hey you - what's good?"

A chick can respond to this in a number of ways:

1. No response - This is probably the most chilling. You double-check your sent items to see if it was actually sent. You kinda wish there was a text receipt as there are email receipts [even though those are mad annoying to the recipient]. You check your watch…and see that only 5 minutes elapsed. Relax...and if she doesn't hit you back within an hour, make alternate plans. If she doesn't respond ever, then On To The Next One.

2. "Hey! I'm busy…I'll ttyl" - Obviously you're gonna talk later, since a text convo isn't actually a live convo. Dumb broad. And she's not really feeling you but she's just trying to be nice. Most girls are cognizant of another person's feelings, because it's likely they've been in that situation before. I'd chalk this up as an L.

3. "Nothing. What's good with u?" - ahhh…a question to a question. She wants to engage in conversation, so you naturally play along. Just make sure you're on an unlimited plan yourself, and it's helpful to know the girl's text plan, since overages for text messages b[y]te [haha I make myself laugh]. If you're way over on your texts and way under for your minutes, you need to talk more! Unfortunately in the electronic age, that's usually the case.

4. "Hey! I'm doing well!! Wanna kick it? ;)" - That flirty wink!  Sometimes I think "did she just mean to send a :) instead of a ;) because she kept her finger on the shift key too long?"  See what I mean by over-analyzing?  Anyway, I wish there was a formula to determine how interested a chick is in you based on their response. It would contain the # of "!" used, a multiplier for which smiley [":)" would be like x5, ";)" would be like x8, and "=|" would be minus 10 haha], and the time variable of response time less sent time. Maybe something like this:

[# of !s] * [smiley multiplier + (# of "lol" or "haha"s)]/ time elasped [in hrs] = your score

If your score is above a 100, then maybe she is digging you. If its closer to zero, then probably not so much.

Let me analyze a recent text *scrolls down ReegPhone*: [5] * [8 + 1]/(1/60) = 2,694!!!! OMG I think she's in love!!! Or my formula is inherently flawed, which is more likely.  Darnit!

5. "This is good" *image attached* - If you get the sext reponse, you're basically in the money.  You've must've done something right to obtain that privilege. Kudos to you and I should be reading your blog instead!

So the above just proves that we read into not just texts, but any type of communication overall. Or maybe it's just me? Whatever the case, it's just a stupid game that boys and girls play.

Friday, January 22, 2010

I'll Get the Nine Cuz I Don't Know About the Internet

E-40 didn't know about the Internet back then, but I did. Let's take a trip:

circa 1990 - My fam installed Prodigy on the home computer, and my moms was chatting with her coworker over a modem. I was flabbergasted.

circa 1992 - The start of the message board era. People discussing hip-hop and sports online? It was awesome. It was pretty early when I knew not to catch feelings from total strangers. Someone badmouthed the Fab 5 and my brother got all pissed. He wrote a expletive-laden response and our account was banned.  This also birthed the hip-hop nerd.

circa 1995 - Got my first email address! I forgot the name, but I know the end was hahaha. Silverylining was my first email buddy!

circa 1996 - One name for yall: Patricia Ford. My [and I'm sure a host of others] first cyber-crush. Naked. Pictures took like 10 minutes to load and I took less to unload.

circa 1997 - My first mp3 downloaded - Hit Em Up by 2Pac. [Still don't know why this wasn't on the double-disc]

circa 1997 - The birth of my AOL SN - reegsta. And I'm still online!

circa 1998 - The birth of my eBay username - reegsta. Buy ish from me.

[Okay it the cyber-age just blew up expontientally in this era, so lets fast-forward.]

circa 2002 - Wrote my first blog. [Scroll down to when it says 'the reegsta's random ramblings'].

circa 2003 - Signed up for Friendster, and I wonder if its still in beta-mode.

circa 2007 - Late pass on Facebook, but I put my first status update up. "Regan is thinking about stuff to blog about."

circa 2008 - Got my first article published on Ploomy.

circa 2010 - I fought the urge to limit my cyber footprint, but now I'm on twitter. So just ignore this post here. Holler @reegstarr if you're on!

So yes, the whole point of this entry is to tell you to follow me like Uncle Kracker.  Don't fret my comment section is about to get overhauled, since the provider is going under.

Have a good weekend!