Wednesday, January 27, 2010

You Got to Read Between the Lines

If you're successful at reading between the lines, then you have an exponentially better chance to read between the sheets.  I know dudes over-analyze any type of communication with a female, and I'm no exception. it's hard enough to read when the words are there, but what do they really mean? Here is a brief sypnosis of what a girl's response to your text really means:

generic text sent by generic guy: "hey you - what's good?"

A chick can respond to this in a number of ways:

1. No response - This is probably the most chilling. You double-check your sent items to see if it was actually sent. You kinda wish there was a text receipt as there are email receipts [even though those are mad annoying to the recipient]. You check your watch…and see that only 5 minutes elapsed. Relax...and if she doesn't hit you back within an hour, make alternate plans. If she doesn't respond ever, then On To The Next One.

2. "Hey! I'm busy…I'll ttyl" - Obviously you're gonna talk later, since a text convo isn't actually a live convo. Dumb broad. And she's not really feeling you but she's just trying to be nice. Most girls are cognizant of another person's feelings, because it's likely they've been in that situation before. I'd chalk this up as an L.

3. "Nothing. What's good with u?" - ahhh…a question to a question. She wants to engage in conversation, so you naturally play along. Just make sure you're on an unlimited plan yourself, and it's helpful to know the girl's text plan, since overages for text messages b[y]te [haha I make myself laugh]. If you're way over on your texts and way under for your minutes, you need to talk more! Unfortunately in the electronic age, that's usually the case.

4. "Hey! I'm doing well!! Wanna kick it? ;)" - That flirty wink!  Sometimes I think "did she just mean to send a :) instead of a ;) because she kept her finger on the shift key too long?"  See what I mean by over-analyzing?  Anyway, I wish there was a formula to determine how interested a chick is in you based on their response. It would contain the # of "!" used, a multiplier for which smiley [":)" would be like x5, ";)" would be like x8, and "=|" would be minus 10 haha], and the time variable of response time less sent time. Maybe something like this:

[# of !s] * [smiley multiplier + (# of "lol" or "haha"s)]/ time elasped [in hrs] = your score

If your score is above a 100, then maybe she is digging you. If its closer to zero, then probably not so much.

Let me analyze a recent text *scrolls down ReegPhone*: [5] * [8 + 1]/(1/60) = 2,694!!!! OMG I think she's in love!!! Or my formula is inherently flawed, which is more likely.  Darnit!

5. "This is good" *image attached* - If you get the sext reponse, you're basically in the money.  You've must've done something right to obtain that privilege. Kudos to you and I should be reading your blog instead!

So the above just proves that we read into not just texts, but any type of communication overall. Or maybe it's just me? Whatever the case, it's just a stupid game that boys and girls play.