Friday, October 24, 2008

Wrong Place Wrong Time

I understand, when you gotta go you just gotta go. Ideally if can’t always be in the comfort our your primary bathroom, but if I could avoid this situations at all costs then I totally would. This is partially inspired by the Duke of Ulloa, who told us he had to drop a deuce in a garbage can in his OWN room because his roommate was using their only bathroom lol. So without further adoo-doo here it goes:

10. At a Sporting Event or Concert: Okay, first of all there’s mad long lines and probably 100 people used that toilet within the past hour. Worse yet if its outdoors, since those port-a-potties are stenched-out. So before going to a football game, please unload since Stadium food will make you want to go.

09. At your Significant Other’s Family’s Place: I once deuced in a bathroom that was impeccably clean, like showroom-style. And showrooms don’t have plungers. I had to yell for G to bring me one despite my multiple flushes.

08. At a Rest Area off the Freeway: Man these just seem creepy to me, and it doesn’t help that I always think about that scene from Something About Mary whenever I drive by one.

07. At a Gas Station: I've yet to come across a gas station bathroom that wasn't filthy.

06. At Church: But at Saint Augustine’s, they have speakers in their bathrooms so you could still hear what’s going on hahha.

05. In Between a Meal: Unless it’s a buffet to make it worthwhile, its kinda gross to eat, then poop, then resume eating.

04. In a Airplane: I just feel claustrophobic when I’m in an airplane bathroom, and I can’t imagine dudes weighing 100 lbs more than me using these facilities. Conversely, a poop on a Cruise Ship is one of the better places to defecate.

03. In a Third-World Country: us Americans should be grateful for running water, toilet paper and seat covers, which isn’t as universal as you may think.

02. In the middle of an hour long staff meeting: If your gone for 5 minutes, then you just took a piss. Anything more people will look at you funny when you come back.

01. Right after you take a shower: Man this really pisses me off when this happens. 5 minutes into your shower your body’s calling [no R. Kelly]. Then you have to dry yourself off, then sit on the toilet and release. Great.

Damn I gotta go now!