Friday, July 02, 2010

Reeg Da 5'7"

The title is a obviously a play on Royce Da 5'9", the Detroit MC who was BFF's with Eminem, then frenenemies, then back to being in the studio together.  Boooom.

Not that I would want to, but before if I could change any part of my physical appearance, it would be my height. But I’m sure most people wouldn’t mind being some inches taller. Kinda like money I suppose….you always could use a little more [unless you’re Manute Bol – RIP]. Anyway after some time I’ve embraced my height, as really I had no other choice haha. I can’t rock Air Max 95s and their thick midsoles all the time. Unless you’re a Fortune 500 CEO or US President, then it really shouldn’t matter. During my quest to validate my height, I was researching notable 67 inchers. I know a lot of people inflate their height, so I tried to get accurate measurements as possible. Here are my findings:

Manny Pacquaio – an obvious 1st choice. We’re essentially the same build, but he has slightly more muscles and I have more fat. So if he ever needs someone to portray him in a biopic, I would be a natural choice.  I'm a lefty too!

Mandingo – Don’t ask me how I know his height though haha. I remember reading his bio [don’t ask why again] and it said he was 5’7”. And if you don’t know who this person is, go ahead and google him, but not at work or if kids are around.  And God bless your innocent self.

American Boy – you know, that song from Estelle? “I just met this 5 foot 7 guy who’s just my type.” So when she sang that song that one time we saw her live, I was like “yo that’s me!” [Are you singing that song in your head now?  It was a catchy tune.]

Tobey Maguire - Only the standard superhero next door.  You see how easily he scales those walls of NYC?

Timbaland – Real talk, I never really considered one of the greats, but after reviewing his top 25 beats, then he merits consideration. I think it’s because he produced the worst song on The Blueprint. I swear I skip over “Hola Hovito” I play that album. Damn that song and damn Jay for tryna cater to his Spanish-speaking fans. I hate that #$$^%@ song.

Lionel Messi – probably the best striker in the world at the moment [if female rosters were incorporated, then that honor would go to Ronaldo, who’s about to inherit Jeter’s throne], and his 1.69M frame allows him to make some spectacular goals. Okay, this is all I know from watching a SportsCenter piece comparing him to his coach Maradona. I can’t even watch a full futbol game haha.

Bruce Lee – it’s probably not fair to put another Asian dude on this list, but it’s Bruce Lee Foo! Dragon was my favorite movie of 1993!

I'm sure there's plenty more, but I'll just keep it at a lucky 7.