Tuesday, June 22, 2004

I need a blog to write, write, write
I need a blog about my strife
I need a blog that's mine oh mine
I need a blog in my life

Okay that was retarded. Ooops, I meant dorky. Miss Lohan was reprimanded for saying "retarded" too many times in public. The National Association of Retards issued a letter to her asking her to stop. It worked with Britney, so why not Lindsey? Trigger memory effect: remember that scene in Something about Mary, in which Mary asks Pat what he does for a living? Pat, in an effort to look nurturing, says with a straight face: "I work with retards." Hahaha classic movie. Classic comedy.

What did I tell you about the Jesse and Jessica? Word has it is that they broke up. Should've picked Tara from the get go. Or maybe Trisha is knocking on the door. So far, the Bachelor's are batting 0-5, yet girls are still lined up for that shot of romance. Interesting.

Mary-Kate has entered a rehab clinic for an eating disorder. I think we've seen this coming. I mean, she probably weighed more when she was playing Michelle on Full House.

These last 2 tidbits I found reading Espn.com and SLAMonline.com. I kid you not. See I'm not the only testosterone dude writing about Hollywood. Ironically, these two authors, Bill Simmons and Lang Whitaker, are my favorite columnists. Maybe I'm attempting to mimmick their editorials? Hey, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

***

With the dawn of summer, I think its a good time to review our new year's resolutions. I propose that we should regularly do this, meaning updating our goals. Make them seasonal. I'll set it off. That's a good idea yeah? Just in case one veer's off course, a new season could right the ship. So here is a sampling of my summer goals:

1. play ball (basketball, baseball, softball, golf-ball)
2. fix Sen-dawg (engine light, visor, bumper, major tune-up)
3. give Reeg Speak a face lift (new layout, fix that damn banner up there, new pics)
4. move out!