Reeg Speak

121807- Just a Top 10 list...

After taking the afternoon daily deuce, I was thinking of reasons why its more beneficial to go at work than at home. So here I present you the top 10 reasons:

10. Preserve Resources: I haven't bought TP in about 8 months prior to last week. And with the amount of flushing I do, I know I save on water bills.

09. Seat Covers: When I have guests, they also use the bathroom. Who's to say my guests' derrieres are cleaner than my coworkers? But at least's there's seat covers to protect us. And they also work great for blotting paper.

08. Flush with the Foot: I'm not sure about other people, but I'm not sure when was the last time I used my hand to flush, as I get my Ronaldinho on and just kick it. I only wish I had that option with my toilet at home.

07. Handicap Benefits: I can't park in their spaces or take their seats on the bus, but best believe I go for the handicap stall when its vacant. I have yet to be in a bathroom the same time as someone in a wheelchair.

06. Daily cleaning: I do clean my bathroom frequently, but the toilets here get cleaned ALL THE TIME. If you leave skid marks at home, the next time you use it, they'll still be there. However if you leave the same marks on your work toilet, its almost guaranteed they won't be there again the next time you go.

05. Industrial strength Toilets: How come there's a plunger in every bathroom but you don't see any in public ones? Because they never get clogged! If my toilet here were a vacuum, it would be a Dyson.

04. Multiple TP rolls: I store my TP in a different room than my bathroom. Sometimes when I commence my deuce and see just enough TP, I need to ration it per wipe. However at work, there's 2 sometimes even 3 rolls at your disposal, so you can be as liberal as you'd like.

03. Random reading material: I usually don't read it, but someone often leaves the business section of the NY Times at the stall. It is appreciated.

02. Ultimate Refuge/Sanctuary: If you're working and your stressed, you can go to the bathroom to relieve all the negative chi. It's equivalent to a spiritual cleansing.

01. $$$: If you think about it, you're getting paid while you defecate. Now if this post doesn't inspire you to go drop a deuce, then I'm not sure what can help you.
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