The New Workout Plan

32% - SPORTS. What do all athletes have in common? They workout! And if I want to play hoops better, I need my strength to bang down in the post [yeah right] and my legs when my squad needs a game winning bucket. And it's nouveau for golfers to hit the gym. I mean have you seen Camilo Villegas lately? Yes, it was slightly uncomfortable finding that pic. Strength leads to a faster swing speed leads to a farther golf ball leads to a shorter iron in hand leads to a closer ball to the pin leads to more scoring opportunities.

28% - HEALTH. I have no reason not to be in shape. You can't just eat well and expect to be all ripped and ish. My job makes me sit on my rear for like 10 hours a day, then there's probably another hour of idle time commuting to and fro work [no I didn't misspell "from," I just wanted to go archaic on that a$$!]. So that's almost half my day when I'm just posted like a journal entry. And years of that led to my back stiffness and unflexibility that I'm trying to unravel.

12% - VANITY. C'mon, that's partially the reason you go too! Clothes basically look better on people in shape, and it's a thing I'm striving for. Futbol players clean-up so well since them dudes are straight chiseled. And generally European, so they're almost born sartorially inclined haha. And not too tall, so I used them as an example. Plus all that loot I spent tailoring my clothes would be negated if I didn't fit them properly lol. So if you look good, then you feel good, then you're getting a confidence boost. See, even being vain somewhat has a purpose.

10% - ROUTINE. It's good to deviate away from the home-work-home schedule that most of us have. Plus once I get in these doors I ain't leaving again! I have no SO or no seeds and own a DVR, so I can't use that "I-don't-have-any-time" excuse. Similar to a dope emcee, I should strive to get in a good flow.

8% - CHICKS. Hey, at least I'm honest! I appreciate a girl in spandex and a sports bra and some sweat. Although the other day this girl was on the treadmill rocking a camisole, looking like she straight had lingerie on. But I wasn't complaining. It's not like I straight ogle at yall, I just sneak peaks here and there *wink*. So yes, I do it for the nookie, or to be in position to get some nookie lol.

6% - INK. In case your boy ever finds something worthy enough, I want my canvas to be tattoo ready. I don't wanna look mad anorexic like Wiz or mad, um well-fed like Ross [warning! image might not be suitable for young children]. Um yeah, don't worry mom I won't be fully covered either lol. Imagine that.

5% - FISCAL. So check this out - remember this post from 2003 when I first got my membership? Of course you do! But as a refresher, I paid like a stack up front for 3 years, with the crux being my annual renewal would be $20. So that's $1.67/month, and I didn't even use a calculator. So the more often I go, the lower my daily effective cost is! I love milking a deal, similar to me playing like a thousand WWF games on the ads version of the game mwhahaha. Oh me and my comeuppance.

Okay guys, see you at the gym!
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Now That We [Haven't] Found Love

So it’s been officially a lil over 2 years since your boy been single. Can’t lie, I thought I would find somebody by now lol. But I guess it doesn’t work like that, or maybe my game isn’t as tight as my pants usually are. It’s just baffling how some people meet their subsequent mates so swiftly and easily. Again with the clothes reference, but if you think I’m particular about how my shirt measures, think about how I'd want my lady to fit! Yeah – from that vantage point it’s pretty difficult. Too bad I can’t just have a bespoke chick haha. That would be awesome though, and I’d definitely pay a premium for that. It’s not even that I’m uber-picky, or maybe I am? All I want is someone to complement my freshness [and compliment my freshness lol – jp oknotreally].

I know it’s something I can’t rush. I know that feeling when you’re with someone and nothing else matters, and one day I hope to recapture that. And I’m confident I will, just not sure when. It’s like an earthquake – you know it’s coming, it’ll just hit you when you don’t expect it. Yes – I just compared love to a natural disaster, and sometimes it’s not too far off haha.

Then it got me thinking – maybe I’m too much of a finished product? [I say that now because I got a job!] I mean real chefs don’t buy the frozen lasagna and stick it in the oven, they buy all the ingredients and put it together, make the necessary modifications, and voila – you have your pasta dish! I think girls prefer someone moldable like old bread. I’m not a work in progress [or process if you choose], I’m already a tangible asset. The only caveat being that I have straight-line appreciation instead haha.

But kill that noise, no matter who you are you adapt to your mate to form that meshing, so I’m not as rigid as my selvedge denim might indicate. Plus maybe older girls do want that ready-made fella. At the end of the day, someone’s gonna dig you or not dig you, regardless of what you are. As a result, the best piece of advice I can offer to myself is just to be myself, and I think that’s what I’ve been doing these past couple years. WYSIWYG. [On a side-note, that would be the dopest MC name ever – MC Wyzzy Wyg. I’m claiming it like 5 minutes ago.]

Eff being a hopeless romantic type – I’ma hopeFUL romantic ninja! I’m about to indulge in some libations later on with my glasses being half full. And I promise my next post won't be as emo hahha.
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Maganda Girl Rock

I've been bumping this the last few days. Shoot I even put it on our playlist for our hoops runs haha. It's not quite the classic that Knock you Down is, but it's on a tier below. I've just been replaying and replaying, mostly for these 4 bars:

but the only thing I need to know right now/
what a pretty girl like you doing in this part of town/
with a city girl swag and a country girl smile/
I mean - you demoralizing b****s with your style


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Twork it Out

Starting week 3 here at work, and I’m still in that mode of pretending to look occupied and busy, when really all I’m doing is writing this blog post haha. It doesn’t help that my manager is sitting adjacent to me, but luckily I have two screens, and this is currently being composed on my laptop one further from him. It wouldn’t matter if those screen filters I ordered on day 1 arrived already, but nonetheless I’m still writing.

So thus far it’s been going pretty well. I’m just poking around old files, trying to build reports off our poorly designed accounting software [Great Plains you POS!], looking at financials and just getting a feel of how this department operates. I kinda replaced someone here, but it’s been a minute since he’s been gone and so I’m somewhat on my own island. The only cross-training I do is at the gym!

More so I’m getting a feel of the culture here. I swear people abuse the “Office – All Employees” email alias. I don’t care if you want a damn flu shot. Or do you really have to share your anecdote with so-and-so since they’re leaving? At my last job my email spiraled out of control, so I’m trying to stay on top of it here. I got mad rules in place already, so I think I’m good. A lot of crap is on our shared drive too, so I don’t need my inbox to mirror that. Efficiency yall!

If I were to change something here, it would be everything. But hey, that’s why I’m aboard. [On a side note, one of the few words I jumble up are aboard/abroad. Once I was introduced to a new coworker, and I was like “welcome abroad!” Hope she didn’t think I called her a broad? Or she probably thought I was a captain welcoming her to our cruise ship? Nonetheless, it was a lose/lose situation.]

Til the next entry! And freakin’ my font is still jacked up…grrrrrrrr. If that's the case, please use Google Reader to read me =/.
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What the Font

Testing...font is jacked up on page 1 but page 2 it reverts back to how it should look? What the heezy I don't have time for this!

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Miss A-Z

I recall writing this entry, and it was probably my favorite blog post of last year.  Then again it only had to compete with like 4 others, so it wasn’t that hard to choose a winner lol.  So I was inspired from myself to create this one.  Instead of numbers though, let’s switch it up and use letters!  I mean I have a job now, so I have time to blog.  Duh.  Anyway here are 26 things I look for in the opposite sex.

A – Ass. Like I’ve mentioned before, I’m neither an assman or a breastman. I’m both. 

B – Brains. I’m a sapiosexual dude. And if you don’t know what that means, you should look it up.

C – Cups. As in cup-size. I wasn't lying about "A." And just like Scattergories, C-Cups give you double points! Just kidding, Bs are fine too.

D – Debonair. Luda said it best – “I want a lady in the streets and a freak in the sheets!” Yeah, yeah.

E – Exotic. Reeg can’t have no plain chick! This word slightly edged out erotic lol.

F – Funny. I feel I can carry my weight on the humor side, but sometimes I like to be entertained as well.

G – Genuine. This might be a tad cliché, but it’s up there on my list.

H – Horny. I can’t be the only hornball in the relationship.  Libido is a good thing.

I – Intimate. Not necessarily the physical traits, but someone who can open up to me and share their innermost thoughts.  And wear intimates too though lol - ah I love homonyms.

J – Jovial. I’m a pretty jolly dude, and would hope that gets reciprocated.

K – Knowledgeable. Not saying you have to be a walking Wikipedia, but to abreast of current events should suffice.

L – Laughter. Someone who makes laughing a priority.  Someone who can laugh at me and with me.  And someone who could laugh at herself. 

M – Motivated. This is along the lines of being goal-oriented, but “G” was already taken!

N – Nurturing. Not that I need it, but it shows that you would have good maternal instincts.

O – Organized. I don’t want you to cramp my style. Organization is the key to efficiency.

P – Passionate. About whatever you do. About life. About me!

Q – Quirky. Some idiosyncrasies here and there, but nothing too weird.

R – Respectful. It’s another basic trait, but like a scale, it’s something that holds weight. 

S – Spontaneous. Since I’ll be the rationale one for the most part.  I’m like 70/30 reasonable, so ideally my mate would be 70/30 spontaneous. 

T – Thoughtful. Real talk, it’s the little things that matter.  They go a long way like a hail mary pass. 

U – Unfiltered. Don’t hold anything back.  Whether it’s good or bad, tell me thoroughly or lash out at me. None of this “I’m fine” bullish!

V – Versatile. When it comes to your interests, your steez, your overall persona – someone who can’t fit in a bucket.  Give me a mixed goodie bag! 

W – Witty. I would like challengers in a battle of wits.  Wittiness is like a good corniness, but beware of the fine line between the two. 

X – Xenophilic. Don’t you hate it when you come across these lists and something like ‘xcited” shows up? Effin’ cheaters.  Anyway, the world is an adventurous place.  I’d need a travel buddy!

Y – Youthful. This is not to be confused with young.  You can be a generation older and display a youthful exuberance. 

Z – Zany. I’ve used Funny and Laughter, which can be synonyms.  That’s not redundant, just an important trait to me.

There you have it. I mean again, I don’t think I’m asking for too much yeah?  If you bat 26/26 then let me know where you’re at!
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6 Months? Wowsers

Just needed to e-dust this thing off and try again. As I'm getting into a flow of things, hopefully blogging will be one of them too. To summarize the past 6 months:

- got laid...off

- went to LV, lost mad dough

- went to NYC for the first time in over 10 years

- tried Bon Chon out there, then realized there's a Bon Chon down in the 'Vale

- went to Uniqlo for the first time...lived up to it's hype

- to say I played some golf is an understatement

- skin tone is approaching full-illocano level, although i'm like only 25%

- got rid of my grapes

- took swim lessons for 2 weeks - apparently that wasn't enough

- venture back down to SoCal - went to LegoLand for the first time

- movie of the year thus far: crazy.stupid.love

- man-crush of the year thus far: ryan gosling

- r&b song of the year thus far: lloyd - cupid

- rap album of the year thus far: Krit's? shoot - nothing has really risen above anything else

- went to Yosemite, saw Half-Dome and ran the other direction

- played some more golf

- declined a job with yammer...we'll see how i feel once they get acquired

- 2 goals i had whilst unemployed: clean out my closet and watch the wire. i went 0-for-2

- visited a chiropractor a few times, but i stopped because my insurance lapsed lol

- had a personal high of 181 bowling, including a 4bagger

- started hooping and going to the gym [somewhat] consistently

- went to Kauai for the first time - place is beautiful!

- congrats cheryl/nate on the nuptials!

- rocked out at rock the bells 2011

- accepted a job offer at Axiom Law, started this past monday!

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Another Alert

Hehehe...think I went over my Strip Club budget? Darn you Las Vegas - and it wasn't even a bachelor party weekend! Honestly this is real frivolous spending for someone on pending unemployment =/. Should've just went to Chinatown as the cabbie mentioned. Oh well! But seriously, this is primarily the alcohol purchased, like for real, and for dances bought for other people whose names are going to be withheld, for real real. And for argument's sake, let's ignore the reciprocation and gentlemen factor when someone gets you an LD.

Oh yeah here's another sexual word! It was a d'oh one too.

suc·cumb

–verb (used without object)

1. to give way to superior force; yield: to succumb to despair.

Reeg's usage: She didn't want to swallow, but I knew she was going to eventually succumb.

Yeah sorry guys, that was way too easy.

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Man-Crush Alert

Honestly I don't even remember the shot he's talking about - stuff like that is 2nd nature to a baller. Ain't nothing to a bawse. Let's go Gauchos!

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Self-Audit

As most companies with a calendar year-end are wrapping up their 10-Ks, I am as well. This was the first year in quite some time that I wasn't bombarded with an overload of work, so I was like let me run my own comparatives YoY [year over year for the unenlightened]. Essentially I need to explain the variances if the delta is above a certain threshold. The "Comparison" column represents 2009 figures while "Spending" represents 2010. Note I'm just providing the Expense section of my Income Statement - I'm not showing you guys the revenue part!

SHOPPING



Wowsers a 917% increase from '09 to '10? Deloitte would definitely ask about that. Then the following would be my variance analysis:

- In '09, Reeg completed Phase III of liquidating his shoes, hence the credit here. This did not net against revenue because shoes were originally expensed from 2000-2008 and were not considered COGS [cost of goods sold].

- In '10, an increase of $2.6K was primarily attributable to the purchase of timepiece and multiple sunglasses, as the latter included the replacement cost due to the extraordinary loss in August 2010 after his car was broken into.

- Reeg needs to read more books.

HEALTH & FITNESS



- Golf spending decreased by 21% due to a once in a lifetime trip [okay, maybe once every 10 years] to Pebble Beach in May 2009. 2010 expenses are still over-budget as $200/month was allotted to Golf based on his Annual Budget.

- Gym spending increased due to Reeg believing he could actually finish the P90X program, thus splurging on weights and a pull-up bar. Expect costs to revert back to the $20 annual fee he spends for his 24 Hour Membership.

- Health Insurance spiked in '09 due to the multiple visits Reeg made to his physical therapist for his lingering back problems. This amount represents the total of his co-pay.

BILLS & UTILITIES



- Television/Internet costs increased by 43% due to Reeg no longer receiving promotional fees from Comcast. He plans to call them shortly to play the unemployment card to again get his rate lowered.

- Mobile Phone expenses decreased by 33% despite Reeg having the same phone/plan due to him finally realizing his brother works for AT&T and he's able to go on the family plan. He wishes he realized that earlier. Doh!

Then after Deloitte would sign-off on our audited financial statements, I'll have an Earnings Call with investors to discuss Reeg, Inc. The future is bright yall!

On a side note, I'd recommend Mint.com to all! It's like my own cloud.
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Sacrifice

Roots - Sacrifice

This song is from a personal classic [aka an album not critically acclaimed, but you love it], but yet this post isn't about the music. Are you with me? So last week we us Catholics started the Lenten season. Each Lent we try to give-up or sacrifice something, and I always try to run the gamut and try to cleanse myself of as many things as possible. With that said, it's also good to even do something more. Here were/are my goals and the statuses after 5 days. 1/8 of the way there!

Soda - This is almost the standard generic sacrifice. Like if there was an equivalent of asking you how you're doing and you say "cool," then this is it. I've kinda started prior and slowed down my soda consumption awhile go, so I'm drinking more of nature's beverage. I just have to be weary of those Jack and Cokes I enjoy. Just give me scotch on the rocks next time.

Volunteering - No silly, I'm not gonna stop volunteering, but while I have volunteered a little over the past few years, I figured I could do more, especially if I find something I enjoy doing. Some people spend their time at food banks and pet shelters, so why can't Reeg volunteer at a golf course? I signed up for the First Tee of Oakland program, where you could teach under-privileged youth golf and life lessons. My app [no iPhone] is currently under review, so cross your fingers for me!

Clothes Shopping - I used to justify buying stuff by saying I can't pass on this deal! But you know what? The more you look, the more deals you'll find. So conversely, if you stop looking, then you won't find any deals! I've unsubscribed from a lot of email distro lists, and I don't care if you're offering free shipping both ways. That was another thing that got me. I hate hate hate paying for shipping fees, so I always tried to spend the minimum to qualify for free shipping. Say I just wanted a $25 shirt from UO , I'd would find other things to qualify for free shipping lol. That's my fiscal kryptonite.

Online pr0n - Disclaimer: not like I peep this a lot [yeah right], but I just wanted to see if I could do it. I actually was inspired by this Details article when the author just quit cold turkey [probably needed a cold shower too] and he hasn't looked back. I would link it but you probably wouldn't click on it haha. Anyway I didn't violate this yet, and this is limited to the online world so I could still go to strip clubs in real life!

Getting More Flexible - I see my pull-up bar everyday and I try to use it everyday. I'm going to pack resistance bands on my upcoming trip since we have 54 holes to play, and I'm not talking about 18 girls. I think I need to first increase my limberness then work on the strength aspect, since I'ma pretty brolic dude already [/sarcasm]. I should be toned by summertime. Notice I didn't specify summertime of what year though.

Okay, that list seems reasonable and doable. Wish me luck!
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Midori Fa So La Te Do

Where: Midori Sushi

When: March 10, 2011

Who: [starting clockwise] Reeg, Nick, Dennis, Tiff, Trish, Dan, Anthony, Benjamin, Stephanie, Mike, Kevin, Kathy, Jeff K

What: Sushi [duh]

How Much: $30 with tip and drinks

It was a drizzling day but definitely not as bad as the prior foodie edition. But that didn't deter us from having the best foodie ever! Just browsing the menu was enticing, as for some reason we ordered a Crazy Horse roll and a G-Spot roll, the latter that Kingsbury couldn't locate haha. And we already consumed an armada of sushi boats by this time.

I didn't try anything else besides the sushi. [FYI side-story: Whenever my old co-worker wanted sushi, she always asked us "is anyone down for soosh?" Like who abbreviates that?! Lol I told her never to say that again, but apparently it didn't register.]

The dinner was going as planned, and since Ant [the chooser] was flirting with the owner, we were able to get free Sake and ice cream! Because Jeff was the only other guy with hair on his chest, just me and him did a Sake Bomb. I think I beat him too!

We were such gracious diners they wanted to capture our meal for perpetuity and asked to take a picture of us. We now have our Foodie Christmas card, so toodles if you weren't there!
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Dinner for Schmucks

Schmucks in this case being myself, Jeff and Michelle. This past weekend we decided to test out our cooking chops and came up with the following menu: braised short ribs, mushroom risotto and a green apple crisp. I would say it was a rousing success. And we celebrated afterward if you catch my drift. And that's not the only thing drifting.

Anyway I wanted to super-slow cook the ribs, but I only had 4 hours instead of 8 hours, so I used this recipe instead. I used farm-raised short ribs from the best grocery store in the east bay - Berkeley Bowl! And nope, it's not a bowling alley as I initially thought. More legit than the Savage [a reference only Bay Area hip-hop heads would get]. About to eat the leftovers for dinner tonight!

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2011 Rankings, Part II

For Part I, peep here or just scroll down a little bit you lazy bum. Just kidding, I shouldn't offend my 3 person readership lol.



9. Olivia Munn - Now that she's dating Mr. Shuester, I'm not sure if that should increase or decrease her stock. But the fact she embraces her Asian heritage, is a geek at heart, and has freckles makes here a Top 10 candidate. Plus I think her puppies got bigger!



8. Jessica Biel - Will she be the highest Jessica on the list? I guess you have to wait to find out. But she's hypnotizing, especially for a white chick. I still can't recall a movie she's been in besides that Chuck and Larry one.



7. Vanessa Hudgens - Aww, lil Gabriella is all grown up now. Well, if you saw her nudes from awhile back, she's been grown for a minute haha. Now she's a free agent, her stock should rise. I could watch HSM without feeling guilty now. I just hope she trims now.



6. Kristin Kreuk - I still can't let her go even though she's been off Smallville for like 5 seasons [FYI - that show's still going on!] I was all ready [not already] to retire her, but then she made a recurring cameo on Chuck last season, so here she is. She might not be top 5 status anymore, but she is a surefire HOFer.

Okay - I think I have my top 5 figured out, so stay tuned.
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Toilet Seat Covers

So as long as I've been comfortable enough dropping a deuce in a public restroom, I thought I knew how to properly place a toilet seat cover. Conventional wisdom was that you would perforate it, then have the flap part hang closer to the tank. However this weekend, courtesy of Alan, I learned that the flap part should be hanging FROM THE FRONT! So it's like you're taking a piss onto it, and the urine would slide off.

This totally makes sense now, as you don't want your junk potentially touching the porcelain, and you don't want toilets with automatic sensors to flush without you yet handling your business. This has happened to me quite frequently too. Can't wait until I try this.

Along those lines, I had aggregated some poop tweets that weren't kosher for Twitter, but totes appropes for Blogger hehe:

- Don't you hate it when you're leg falls asleep while deucing? At least it gives you time to finish that article you're reading.

- You know you really really have to go when your poop comes out before your piss. The turtle is severely poking out it's head.

- I hate washing my hands all thoroughly, then have to turn a knob or pull a handle to open a door. They should have hand-sanitizers outside a doorway.

- I never use those loose rolls sometimes placed near a toilet. I can imagine the prior pooper using his hand as a rod, so no beuno to that.

- Ever just see a log floating in a toilet, but no TP around? Don't you wonder if that dude even wiped his ass?

Haha that above reminded me about that scene in Alpha Dog, when Justin drops a deuce in the dude's living room. "So how are you gonna wipe?" Okay, I think I reference that movie way too much.
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